Do you ever feel trapped under a Mountain of Doubt?
Lately I've actually felt trapped underneath a mountain of self-limiting beliefs. I’ve been trying to scratch my way out with weak flimsy fingernails, and when it doesn’t work I just give up and complain.
Because that's easier. It's easier to complain about how hard I'm trying than it is to admit to myself that I am choosing to live in victim mentality.
I’ve lived in victim mentality for most of my life, and it wasn’t even until recently that I realized this. Now it’s glaringly apparent, and fucking annoying as hell!
I've used blame and shame to make my small minded self feel better, but IT NEVER WORKS. Bc it’s not the truth. It’s not reality.
At 2:30 in the morning, I’m awake crying, bc I have held myself back in so many ways in my life, in the name of staying safe, and not rocking the boat.
Well that's Fucking over!!!
I am tired of fucking living my life as a fake! I am tired of not being honest with myself. I am sick and fucking tired of not having what I want, and I cannot ever expect anyone to give it to me. So, the only natural thing is really - to resolve to give it to mySELF. To let go of all the self imposed limitations that I teach my clients about, and level up so massive that even I don’t recognize myself. I’m so sick of playing so small.
I was not created to be a small person. I was created to BE A CHANGE MAKER, and the longer I am in denial of that, inwardly thinking “who the fuck am I to do this” the longer others suffer and that’s just fucked up.
Where I want to be right now, is Bali, Fiji, Maui, Greece, Paris, Italy, Maldives, fucking everywhere, anywhere. I want to go everywhere and from everywhere I go, spread my message of love, power and ultimate freedom. Because I know it’s possible. I’ve watched others do it. And I want to let go of the idea that it has to be a struggle, because I’m fucking tired, and I don’t want to live that story anymore.
I want to raise my children to KNOW that they’re meant for more...
...not dimming THEIR light by squandering my own.
I want to be financially free, and let go of my parents money story so that I can write my OWN money story. One that supports me unconditionally and limitlessly. IDGAF how scary it might be to walk away from everything I’ve ever believed, but I know that I’m doing the right thing. Bc usually the right thing is the most painful ... at first. Then it becomes the most beautiful transformation in the end.
I’m committed to showing up fully and releasing the stories I’ve carried about myself, and about money. Especially about "how life is meant to be"
I’m FULLY fucking committed to making my own dreams come true, bc no coach, no husband, no fucking mom or dad or child, or teacher, or friend is going to do it for me!
I’m committed to owning my truth and being honest with MYSELF about how I’m showing up.
I am committed to bravery and courage, and I’m determined to show others that it’s possible because I believe we all deserve the chance to walk thru our own fiery hell of inner work to come out on the other side a different, new, shinier version of ourselves. I’ve been through a lot in my life, but now, I’m committed to showing up in a whole new way. I intend to practice awareness of when I slip into self-sabotage and self-limiting patterns. I am quite familiar with them, so it’s time for me to be more conscious of when I’m doing it myself. This is my job with my sponsees through my recovery work, and I do it willingly, now it’s time to fucking practice what I preach and really do the work.
I feel like there has been a part of me cracked open, and I’m terrified to unleash the beast, but it’s the only way. Life can be messy. But it can also be beautiful. I appreciate the contrast.
So, Who's with me?